Storytellers takes a glimpse into an artist’s inner psyche through a story of their choice.

In this edition, Andrew Marr of Brooklyn, NY’s Ski Lodge recalls a creepy stalker and a life-saving McDonalds.

It was just past 3 AM. I found myself alone and full of regret about an $8 bottle of water I had purchased earlier that night. I was tired, but I managed to shuffle my limbs to the nearest subway station. I had only lived in NYC for a couple months at this point and I wasn’t totally familiar with the seedy side of the New York underground just yet. There were maybe 10 other people on the train, most of them asleep or potentially lit on crack. After untangling my headphones I put them on and leaned my head back to relax. After a minute or two I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I turned to my right and there he was. A decent looking white dude, probably in his early thirties, staring at me with an intensity I had never known. He was what I had learned to call a “creeper.” His eyes were slightly glazed over, perhaps from a cheap Cabernet or Pinot Noir, but a creeper none the less. I thought his stare would diminish after a few minutes but it didn’t. The train pulled up at my stop and I prayed this guy wasn’t getting off. I have had my suspicions in the past about people following me, but I knew deep down that this dude totally was. By the time I was halfway up the stairs he was no more than a foot behind me. My heart was racing. I looked back and there it was. His pale and flaccid dick was right there in the open. His hand tugged at it, desperately trying to beat it into arousal. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. All of my childhood fears about perverts trying to kidnap me flooded my mind. I felt like I was in a slow motion car chase. When we got out on to the street I finally decided to say something. I turned around and said “what the fuck are you doing man?!?!” He looked at me with the same glazed eyes and muttered a confused “…what?” whilst continuing to fiddle with his dick. I didn’t see a way out of this. I knew this guy and his sex weapon were going to back me in to some alleyway. Then, as if out of nowhere, I saw a glimmer of hope. It came in the form of two golden arches. Never before had a 24/7 McDonald’s looked so safe. I briskly walked through the doors with “dick” hot on my trail. I considered yelling out for help to the entire McDonald’s staff but I chose to get in line and pretend like I was just there for food. The man with the still flaccid penis looked somewhat defeated as he crept towards the bathroom. We stared at each other from our respective lines. After a minute or two he entered the restroom. I ran…

Purchase Ski Lodge’s debut full-length here, and stream album standout “Just To Be Like You” below: